Good news for a change

I have good news for a change.

Ive been trying to lose weight for years with no success. over the past 3 weeks i have lost 13lbs. I was so happy to get on the scales and see that i had actually acheived something!

Also. after my mum died, i started smoking again. its now been a month since i quit smoking. i have had a couple on bad days BUT i'm still counting my past month as smoke free. its been so difficult to not smoke. i replied on cigarettes to calm me down and give me something to do so it has been difficult to give them up.

AND, i went  to see a medium tonight, was a group thing at a spiritual church and i got a message.

i was told my great grandma was there and my mum was with her. also that a gentlemen was there who passed in november (which was my dad). i do believe people are out there and it has been comforting to hear that they are there. she also said not to give uo if u want something then go get it.

I intend to follow that advice, i also intend to not start smoking again and also try and keep the weight off and lose more. wish me luck!!!!!

long awaited update.

i can't believe how long its been since i last updated my blog! a LOT has happened. I'm not gonna go into detail or i would be here til next year but i will do a summary of the past month for everything.

• my mum went in hospital with double pneumonia. we thought she was going to die but she came through it. a week later she went back into hospital with a DVT, she had a fasciotomy which has been left open so we are hoping that's the end of it. she needs a scan next week to see if there are any blocked vessels or any more clots.

• i went on my first train!!! when my mum went into hospital for her DVT, she was 50 miles away so if i went by bus it would've taken hours. i went on my very first train and to be honest i would happily NEVER get on one again. i had awful motion sickness and i didn't like it one bit.

• i set up a new blog. I'm keeping this one but i created a proper new blog separate from this one so that i can control my ramblings. so i blog here and i blog over at Secret Diary Of A Fat Girl now too.

• CYCLE UPDATE. I'm now CD70, as usual I'm long overdue but that has become very normal, no signs of anything happening so i think I'm in for the long game again.

That is a summarised update of my life this month. its been a really busy few weeks but now I have my mum home I'm hoping things can calm down and i can get everything back to normal.

How many more bad days?

Today has been rough, actually the last 6 years of my life has been hard. 6 months after my dad died my mum got poorly after an operation that went wrong. It's hard yes, I don't want sympathy, never have never will. This is my personal blog, it's for me.

Today has been one of those days where it feels like the work has turned it's back on you, I'm exhausted, have absolutely no energy and I'm in the crappiest mood ever. I'm an emotional wreck, one minute I'm fine the next I'm crying like a baby, it really is horrendous.

I'm still fat too, I'm at the gym 3x a week, do workout DVD's the other 3 days and then I have Sunday off. I'm eating well, my calorie maintenance level is about 2710 calories and I'm averaging at 1500 calories a day as advised by the dietician. Barely any weight loss at all, in the past 3 weeks I've lost 3oz. It's pathetic and it's shit. Now that weight loss surgery has been ruled out aswell because I'm not fat enough, that's it, a vicious battle to stay stuck how I am.

I'm not fat enough for weight loss surgery and I'm not thin enough for any other medication to help me, I can't go on metformin because apparently I'll have a stroke.

Moving on, I'm now at CD202. My last period was January, this is also a pile of crap. I've tried Ginger,parsley tea, everything non prescription with no sign of anything.

So, after all my crappy moaning, I'm gonna watch some TV, and you know what ? Me and my mum are ordering in pizza tonight. I need a relaxing night where I'm thinking about other things apart from periods and diets.


Posted from my iPod touch.

Get back on top form, please RT.

On Friday at the gym, I managed to pull a muscle in my chest, I know that I did it on the cross trainer (elliptical). I saw a doctor who said to not go to the gym until at least Monday. I'm gonna go tomorrow but only doing the treadmill and some stuff with the powerplate. Hopefully I'll be back on track with full workouts on Tuesday or Wednesday.

AND, good news!

It seems that my hair has decided to stop falling out ! It had gotten to where just brushing it made it fall out and washing it was horrendous, but it's stopped now so hopefully it will grow back !