Friday, 20 January 2012

Right. Blog updated, at the moment I haven't got a blog button anymore but that will come.

I just wanted a fresh update and layout, it's not professional and funky but oh well, at least its all ok.

Lots to tell you all!!!

I still have depression, i don't think that will be ending anytime soon but it's ok. that's something I'm dealing with. I have still out of control PCOS(no surprise there)

Good news! (well i think its good news), I have kinda started dating again. finally after 3 years!

We had 1 date on wednesday and one last night. he is lovely and everything but I just don't know what to do. I'm terrified of being close to someone. I'm so tough and independent, I don't want to let my guard down to someone unless I'm positive that I'm sure. It's just hard to explain to people, especially him.
I just don't know how to tell him why I'm like that. my history is a mess, no body wants to hear that.

Anyways, I'm afraid. I admit it. TMI coming up. I'm afraid of the intimacy side of things, giving someone that amount of control over me, and making myslef vulnerable. I struggle with that. after my mum and dad died. i just became so tough that giving over that control is hard. just gotta bring down some walls.

HARD WORK. But i wanna try. and hey, at least I'm trying :)

I am definitely gonna keep up with blogging now, doing it tonight has been quote therapeutic lol


Ellie, As Always! said...

Great post! Glad you stopped by for an update. I too had a hard time with intimacy but it gets easier. :) Hope to see your blog more often!

Amber said...

Missed you!

Nikke said...

I've missed you!
Glad that you're back.
Congrats on the dating. Just take it step by and step. It's hard to bring down the walls that you build, but it can be done.
Welcome back to bloggy land!

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