Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Can't stand the sight of myself..

Ok. So today is one of them really crap days, well Im like this all the time but today it has been really bad.

I've always had issues with the way I look (Its a woman thing) but with me being the weight I am, it has gradually got worse. I'm at the point where I can't stand looking at myself in a full lenght mirror. I don't even own one anymore because I despise myself that much. I've been on diet after diet, pills and more pills but nothing works.

Right now I'm considering a gastric band, now I'm 18 it's something I'll be able to have. A few people had said they know people who had it who hate it, but people have also said that they know people who've had it, lost the weight and are happy. I had thought about a gastric bypass, but I wouldn't want that kind of surgery and also gastric bands are reversible if needs be.

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow, so I'm gonna speak to her and then see how I go from there.


Cara x

6 comments:

Tillie said...

I'm so sorry you feel that way about yourself. I can tell you (after struggling with my weight since I was in 4th grade) it's hard. It will always be hard. Eventually you will reach a point where you are happy with yourself. I have friends who have done gastric bypass, some were successful, others were not. All I can tell you is YOU have to do whatever it is that will make you happy with yourself. I am (though it took me 28 years) comfortable in my own skin. I am not skinny...I will never be skinny...I don't think I will EVER be in "normal sized clothing" and you know what I'm ok with it now...I feel for you. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I hope whatever you decide to do it makes you feel happy cause that's really all that matters. I am sorry I'm babbling...

you can e-mail me anytime you want tillien@gmail.com

The Quest For Baby Hang said...

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I use to when I was younger but now I love mself and have so much confidence , and it has made my life better. Let me know what happens that the doctors!!

Holly said...

*hugs* I am so sorry you are feeling this way but know that you are a beautiful and amazing woman. I hope you are able to find the path that will bring you happiness and love for yourself because I already know how wonderful and beautiful you are, & you need to believe it for yourself

azmamma said...

I can totally relate to how you feel. As a size 22 (yet again) I desperately wish I could get a lapband. When I had insurance that would cover it there wasn't a local doctor. Now there is a local doctor but I have no way to pay for the surgery.

Busted Kate said...

Big hugs. I have those days all the time. I'm doing a low carb diet now with slow results, but I have such a long way to go I wish it was financially viable for me to do the band. I've heard great things about it. Let me know what the doc says... and hang in there :-)

cara said...

Thankyou :) it means a lot to know I have people who don't judge on the way I look, I was crying Reading these comments ! Your all amazing :) thankyou!!

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