Just a general update

Well nothing eventful has happened to me since my last blog post. I'm beginning to feel better now which is good, had a bad migraine today but that's about it, i'm getting there now. I'd just like to say congratulations to my friends on Twitter who have had there BFP's also how sorry I am that a couple of the lovely ladies unfortunately miscarried there babies. Also I'm keeping courtney in my thoughts on the 1 year anniversary of her beautiful angels going to heaven. I hope everyone has a good month and get there BFP's very soon xxxxx


Cara x

After I collapsed and ended up in casualty I thought I'd get better really quick. Well I was wrong. Today I still feel really sick and keep throwing up. I'm
Also so tired which would be ok if I didn't have insomnia which won't let me sleep ! I'm on iron tablets now to replace the iron I lost, but at least I avoided a blood transfusion, I really didn't want it for several reasons but I'm happy that I got out of it. Had a call today from gynae that I gotta go tomorrow and see him and wandy. I'm really not happy having to see able gynaecologist. (I'm not anti men or anything I promise :P) I know a lot of women who are perfectly happy with there male gynae and it's that I hate them. I just have serious trust issues with male doctors so I always see female doctors. I've never properly been referred anywhere I've only seen gynae when I've had scans/tests. So hopefully all will be ok and I can continue to feel crappy and damaged again without inteferance.


Cara x

@Quest4BabyHang is doing a giveaway on her blog, if you dont know who she is go to roxannes blog and enter her giveaway to win 2 great prizes !! this girl is amazing so make sure you follow her blog and on twitter :)  click here to enter roxys giveaway !
click here to follow roxy on twitter !!

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25 reasons why I hate pcos.

I had inspiration from Kate (@bustedkate) to basically say why I hate pcos. So I'm gonna try and do 25 reasons for why I hate pcos. It could be long so be warned :)

1.makes you overweight
2.difficulty losing weight pcos makes you put on.
3.insulin resistance.
4.awful blood tests which leave me full of bruises.
5.excess facial/body hair (I really hate this one)
6.persistent acne.
7.absent or irregular periods or menstrual cycles if you wanna be posh.
8.cysts on my ovarys.
9.extremely painful PMT
10.painful ovulation
11.infertility.
12.higher risk of miscarriage.
13.mood swings
14.insomnia.
15.loneliness
16.difficulty keeping a bloke !
17.persistent OPK's
18.never ending pregnancy tests.
19.ass in the air for 20 mins after BDing to help the little swimmers.
20. Non spontaneous sex.
21.non understanding doctors.
22.non understanding friends
23.family asking where the grandkids/neices/nephews are.
24.being damaged goods.
25.higher risk of other health problems.

These are 25 reasons why I hate pcos, I have many more which I will do in another post :)


Cara x

Quote of the day

Cheryl (@chasingamiracle) tweeted this qoute earlier and I found it really inspiring so thought I would share it

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."


Cara x

An unfair question

Earlier on tonight a family friend was talking to me on skype and asked me a very difficult question. She has no womb from a hysterectomy she had after a car accident. She's 27 and has no children. She asked me whether after she got married in 3 years if I would carry her baby for her. I told her I'd think about it but it didn't take me long to realise that couldn't carry another womans baby after the struggles I've been through just to carry my own. I'm gonna tell her I can't do it. I know it sounds cruel to deny her a baby. But I know I'd never be able to hand over the baby to her. In a way ok selfish because when it comes to having children I'm looking after myself. No matter what your opinion is on me saying this. Asking an infertile to carry your baby is in my book unfair.


Cara x

Torn both ways

A lot of people won't read to this because it's not infertility/pcos related so I'm warning you that it is completely random and if you don't wanna read it that's fine.

Today someone I've known for a while asked me out. I haven't said anything yet but I I'm confused. It sounds simple, either yes or no but he is in a wheelchair. I have nothing against people in wheel chairs my mum is in one so before anyone takes offense read what I have to say.

For the last 4 years I have looked after my mum who is disabled, ill and in a wheelchair herself and I'm not sure I could cope with having to look after him to. I sound selfish and nasty but I'm not meaning to be. I care for my mum 24 hours a day 7 days a week 365 days a year. When i get with someone I want it to be a break from that. Not go from caring from one person to the other. Well that's my chat for the day. If I offended someone I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to hurt anyones feelings


Cara x

Blog is having a midlife crisis

I think my blog is having a mid life crisis ! You used to able to comment on my blog but now I've been told you can't comment anymore. If anyone knows why I'd appreciate it if you could let me know on Twitter (@iwillbeatpcos) or on facebook (Cara louise stubbs) thanks everyone xxx


Cara x

Hoping for a good weekend

I am really hoping that I have a good weekend. I've had a terrible week so I think deserve 2 days of no problems, no doctors and no more problems for my mum. I think AF is on her way out which couldn't have come sooner. A week is far to long for her stay in my opinion !

Seeing my doctor for a "review of my situation" I don't really see the point because (excuse the bad language) she doesn't give a shit whether I'm ok or not. She won't treat me so I don't see why I should sit there and pretend everythings ok when it's not ! I'm an emotional wreck and even though I'm not ttc, I am struggling with this. It is hard for me to admit I can't cope. Ice cared for my mum and my dad when he was dying so for me to admit I need help is big. But my doctor doesn't get it, to be honest I don't think she cares if I have pcos as long as she can get rid of me by telling me to lose weight then it's all good for her. I know I need to lose weight but without meds or treatment the weight isn't even coming off.

Right, vent over. Before I go I wanna wish lisa (@waitinglisa) luck with her adoption process and also roxanne @Quest4BabyHang with her iui. Got everything crossed for you both and I hope everything goes really well xxx


Cara x

Not a good week

I haven't blogged for a few days so I thought I'd just do a general update on everything. AF is still in full swing for me not getting any lighter yet. She's only been here 5 days but I can see her outstaying her welcome this time ! She's also making me feel really ill again which I hate, but hopefully she'll bugger off and leave me alone for another 6 months soon !

Then today my sister wasn't well and was spotting. Doctor told her to go hospital where we found out she was losing the baby. It's strange because she didn't seem bothered about it but I think that is because she takes drugs and is an alcoholic. At least it was passing ok and they said she wouldn't need a d&c.

Well that's my week so far. Extremely boring I know but I thought I better write something :) I wanna again congratulate all my lovely ladies on Twitter who have had there BFP's and also to wish all the luck in the world to the ladies doing iui, FET, or just plain ttc. I hope this cycle is successful for all of you !


Cara x

No longer a happy bunny TMI WARNING

Well this morning AF came extremely full on. I was fine with it because it was my shortest cycle at 69days so now I'm cd1. Went into town shopping and here is why there was a tmi warning ! I had a SERIOUSLY bad leakage while I was in town. I am no longer a happy bunny, I usually have heavy periods but this one is extremely bad ! So I'm taking iron supplements and vitamins. But hopefully I won't have to go in hospital because last time I lost to much blood :( and before I go I have my fingers crossed that roxy gets her bfp this round of iui :)


Cara x

New chat

Well about 15 minutes ago me and roxy (@Quest4BabyHang make sure you follow her she is anazing !)were talking and were bored so roxy said we should make our own chat room so we have :) link is http://www.chatzy.com/665222057696 < password is Twitter and anyone is welcome :) it's like an additional chat to the ttchappyhour we do for when we are bored. So basically anyday every day :) whenever we feel the need to chat so make sure you join us and don't forget to follow roxy (@quest4babyhang) and me (iwillbeatpcos) for more info x

Breaking records.

I've got a feeling I might break my shortest cycle record soon. I think AF is coming and right now I'm cd68 or cd69 not sure which but anyways. If AF shows up in the next 19 days I will have broken my shortest cycle record. My longest cycle was a year which wasn't good and my shortest cycle so far is 88 days. So we will have to see but these long cycles really piss me off and there's no way of predicting them i've tried, so here's to waiting to see if I break a record.

I've decided I hate snow.

I normally love snow. But today it was not my friend ! It had been snowingsavour an hour and I normally stay in but I needed milk so I went to the shop which is about 10mins away. Getting there was fine but on the way back I tripped on the ice, I heard something crack and my knee was in agony so I went to A&E where luckily it was empty so I was seen straight away. Doctor had a look and then did an xray, I have problems with tendons in all of my joints so i was hoping I hadn't damaged a tendon. Luckily it isn't broken but I've pulled a ligament in my knee. So now my knee is strapped up to help it heal, they didn't give me any crutches but I walk on that leg so I'm borrowing my mums lol. Hopefully I'll be back on feet soon but until then I'm stuck with a dodgy knee.

Happy New Year

It is now 2010. This decade has gone way to fast for my liking ! At midnight on new years eve I quit smoking. I have been smokefree for 18 hours. The cravings are really bad right now. How I'm gonna get through the rest of today I don't know ! So here we go 2010 the year I quit smoking. Wish me luck x